Different strokes for different folks
by GeminiAlchemist
Summary: Sucy and Lotte have a chat about what they find attractive about Akko. Just a fic about Sucy and Lotte both being thirsty for Akko. Crackfic. Rated for suggestive themes.
1. Boobs or Legs?

It was a bright, sunny day at Luna Nova academy. Barely a cloud in sight. Not too windy, just a nice breeze blowing through the trees. It was for these reasons that Akko decided it was the perfect day to spend outside, getting in some broom practice. And of course, she just had to drag her dorm mates and best friends in the whole world, Sucy Manbavaran and Lotte Yanson out with her to enjoy the day with her.

Unbeknownst to her, her friends enjoyment was focused entirely on something other than the nice day, perfect weather, or broom flying, but on Akko herself. For Akko was the object of both of their affections, though for different reasons.

"Just look at the way her legs straddle that broom," the petite potions master of the group sighed, eyes not moving an inch from Akko's bare, milky thighs poking out from under her skirt. "I don't think I've ever felt jealous of an inanimate object before."

"I really like that top she's wearing," The ginger girl beside her quietly added, twiddling her fingers together as her eyes wandered over the modest curve of Akko's chest. "It really helps show of her assets."

"I'm looking at her best assets, and they're complimented by those knee socks and skirt, not her top," Was Sucy's counter.

Lotte adjusted her glasses, "Sucy, we're not having this argument again! You know I'm more of a, uh, well, you know..." She drifted off shyly, her face turning a bit pink

"You love tits, I can get that." The alchemist snorted at her friends bashfulness. "What I don't get is that Akko's not exactly generous in that department, so what's there really to like?"

"You don't need to love giant ones to have an appreciation for breasts!" Lotte fired back, before covering her mouth after realizing she said that rather loudly. Turning towards where Akko was still trying to get her broom off the ground, she let out a relieved sigh that her other friend didn't seem to notice her outburst.

"Anyway," She added, in a lower tone, "it's not about how big they are. She's not flat either. Like I am," She added that last part under her breath. "but have you seen her in just her nightgown? With no bra on, just a loose piece of cloth hugging her body?" Her face glowed a luminescent red. "I'd give anything to nestle in between those just before bed!" She then cradled her hands and held them against her face, as if to simulate the action.

She then shot a glare at her friend and added, "Besides, Akko's not exactly tall. How great can her legs be if she's so short?"

the puce haired witch rolled her eyes. "It's not about how tall someone is, Lotte, it's about the smooth feeling of running your hands over them, and the firmness of the flesh when you bite down on it. And with the way our little idiot down there dresses, she seems to love showing them off. Just look at the skirt she decided to wear today."

The two witches paused from their argument to glance over at Akko, who was now screaming at her broom to get up off the ground and fly already. They both agreed that the amount of skin she was showing today in her tight white sleeveless top and short skirt was drool worthy.

Akko seemed to notice their stares and looked back towards them, waving excitedly. "Guy, I think I've almost got it! I'll be flying in no time, just you wait!" She shouted up, oblivious to the conversation her friends were having about her. Lotte shouted down words of encouragement, while Sucy just gave a half hearted thumbs up in Akko's direction before Akko once again turned her attention to the broom.

Turning back to Lotte, Sucy added, "See? Just like with how her top is tight enough to help accentuate her chest, with the right legs and accessories, those things can appear to go up, and up and up until..." the potioneer bit her lip, imagining just where those legs led to, eyes glazed over. "I'd love to " _experiment_ " between those legs." was all she managed to get out, her voice thick with lust.

Yanson's mind briefly went to the same image, before her face burst into flames from the heat rushing to it. "Sucy!" she smacked her friends arm at her comment and was about to chastise her for her overly lewd comments when a loud thud took over both her and Sucy's attention.

Glancing down to where their mutual friend had been practicing, they noticed Akko had taken a spill off her broom in her attempts to get it to fly. This was not unusual in the slightest. What was unusual was that Akko managed to fall off her broom face first, landing with her rear in the air and pointed right in her friends direction. Her skirt had been lifted halfway up her back, exposing a pair of blue and white striped panties to the world, and more importantly, to her friends.

The pair stared for a moment, stunned at what they had just seen. Lotte became aware of a dripping beneath her nose, and came to her senses once she realized she had a nose bleed. Beside her, Sucy was licking her lips, and pulling back her bangs so both her eyes could see the glory of Akko's rump. "I think," The Fin said, reaching into her bag for a tissue to clog up the mess, "That no matter our opinions on her chest or legs..."

"We can both agree she's got one fine ass." Sucy finished for her.

As Akko scrambled to her feet, fixed her skirt and began to yell at her broom with renewed vigor, both Sucy and Lotte hastily stood to leave. "I need to take a cold shower." Was all the ginger could say.

"Take your time," the sharp toothed witch replied, "I'm going to need our dorm alone for a while so I can " _process_ " that image."

* * *

A/N: So, uh, yeah, that happened. I wrote something. After half a decade of silence and deleting all my old fics, I've returned. Just as the prophesies foretold.

This fic was originally just a joke idea I sent to Kaponos(Check out Kap's stuff, he writes some great AkkoxSucy fics and ficlets). I liked the idea so much, I couldn't help myself, and so ended up writing it on my own.

I'm not sure if more fics will come. I may have another half a decade of silence, or I might get around to writing a Lapidot oneshot collection for the Steven Universe fandom. God knows that fandom needs saving, it's crowded with too many terrible Human!AUs in a show about aliens. Who knows, I may even throw my hat into the ring with some more LWA fics. This fandom needs more Sukko in my opinion.

PS, Diana is a belly button fetishist, but even she likes the Akko butt. Because EVERYONE is gay for Akko, even those who are not making an appearance in this fic.


	2. Top or Bottom?

A/N: I'm not sure why I'm on a pervy crackfic roll right now, but I can't say I hate it. I blame all the pervy gag manga I've been reading lately, Nonsense After School in particular.

Anyway, this is a follow up chapter that nobody asked for. Enjoy.

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Akko had to be the most oblivious person on the face of the planet. How else could she not guess that everyone in her school wanted to jump her lady-bones on a daily basis? From Amanda asking if Akko would like to ride her "broom" with her, to Constanze dropping pencils every time Akko passed by her desk so she'd bend over and pick it up(to which the little German girl would just flash a thumbs up to her friends), to Jasminka eating even faster than normal. Though that may just be to keep the gluttony demon inside her satisfied, who knows?.

But no one was more obvious about their affections then the two biggest horndogs in Luna Nova, who shared a room with her. And after the "sleep over" the girls had suggested last night, shared the same bed with her. A challenge for such a small bed, but they managed to squeeze all onto Akko's bottom bunk. There is probably a sexual metaphor for that, but the author of this fic isn't clever enough to think of one.

It was either idiocy or genius that Akko didn't bring up Lotte and Sucy's roaming hands. Was she too dense to notice, or just so brilliant to not bring it up and ruin a good thing? Eh, probably the former. She wasn't exactly known for her genius.

And of course the next day, as soon as Akko was out of the room to take her morning shower, the conversation between her two roommates turned to their mutual attraction to the clueless dunce.

"Last night was a gooood gropedown." the potion master smirked, showing off her impressively sharp teeth. "Think we can convince her that sleeping in the nude makes your magic stronger for the next time?"

"I don't know, 'Id just settle for her letting us enchant her bed to a bigger size. I do think last night could have gone a bit better. Though I'm glad I finally got a chance to rest my head against her chest, though." The Ginger Fin let out a happy sigh as she replayed the memory in her head.

Sucy cocked an eyebrow as she ran a brush through her messing bedhead. "Better how? We got the chance of a lifetime back there. I'd give up every mushroom in my collection just to do it again. I'd give up poisons if we can get her in the buff"

"Well, as much as I liked getting her so close, it would be nice if she wasn't so... dense, and would reciprocate a bit." Lotte blushed deeply. "Can you imagine it? Having an eager Akko exploring every inch of your body?" She let out a happy little squel at the thought.

"Eh, why be explored when you can be the one doing the exploring?" Sucy challenged. "I prefer being in charge. The guinea pig can be a good girl and let me do all the work while she just stays there and takes it."

Lotte giggled into her hand, face even redder from her friends comments. "You always sound like a bit of an aggressive lover. But I always thought that Akko seemed the type to want to be on top? She's so... excitable and enthusiastic, and really takes charge!"

"Only when Shiny Chariot is involved. So, unless she finds out her idol was great in bed, I wouldn't count on it. Take out the hot redhead, and Akko probably doesn't have any interest in topping anyone else. Might be why she's so oblivious, she's probably only got eyes for Chariot. Which is too bad,.with her perky... attitude, I bet she'd be up to doing anything you asked as a bottom... " The Kink Mistress of the Acadmey's mind went off to dreamland as she trailed off.

Lotte's face scrunched up "For some reason, Akko topping Chariot is a bit gross. It'd be like sleeping with a teacher, or something. That's not weird that I think that, right?"

"I don't know, we talking Lukic kind of teacher, or Ursula kind of teacher? Because Ursala is kinda sexy in her own clumsy way." Sucy plopped onto her bed, hands resting behind her head. "Though I'd still take Akko over Professor Ursula any day. Ursula is just TOO much of a bottom."

As Lotte began to put together an outfit to wear after her own morning shower, a thought occurred to her. "Uh, Sucy?"

"What is it Lotte?" The lavender hair witch huffed, blowing a strand of stray hair from her face.

"What do we do if Akko realizes we like her? I mean, if I confessed to her right now, and we ended up, uh, t-together," The teenage witch couldn't contain a smile at the thought, "What would you do? I don't know what I'd do if she chose you over me."

Sucy slowly sat up on her bed, an sent a hard gaze at Lotte. "If you were to get together with Akko, I'd probably just ask Akko if she's interested in a threesome. No way I'm just going to sit here and listen to you two go at it all night. I'd still want a piece of that cute Japanese ass, too, so you'd better be up for sharing."

She then stood from her bed and slowly made her way to where Lotte stood, and got her face right up close. The look in her eye was more venomous and deadly than any potion she'd ever brewed before. "And if you're dumb enough to steal Akko away from me, I'll use that threesome to dominate you to the point you ever regretted telling me you were a bottom. After having my fun with Akko, I will sexually destroy you, so that no matter how great my little guinea pig might be in bed, she'll never be able to satisfy you again after that. They'll be scrubbing up your mess for years after we've graduated and this dorm has got some new blood in it."

It was at this moment that Akko chose to open the door up, fresh and clean from her shower. "I'm baaack! Did you guys mis- oh!" Spotting Sucy with her face right up against Lotte's, she shot them a wink. "Am I interrupting something?" She asked in a teasing tone.

"No." Sucy bluntly replied, before returning to her bed. By the time she'd turned back around, Lotte had already bolted out of the room.

The Finnish girl would never admit it, but she had to take a very long, very cold shower after that particular chat with Sucy.

And made a side note that if she ever got with Akko, to recommend a threesome.

* * *

A/N: I'm actually really proud of the LWA fandom. A show about three cute girls sharing a tiny dorm room together, and I don't think I've seen a single lemon with this threesome involved. Lesser fandoms would have been all over it after the first episode. In fact, the lack of them is what inspired the entire joke for this fic. There is also a hint towards the next, and probably last chapter I'll write for this laced into this chapter.

And no, I won't be writing a lemon. I don't even read those unless I'm desperate, and even then I skim over the smut to get to the feels.

Also, while I don't really ship it, I've been thinking about an idea for a fic where Amanda gets all dressed up in her fancy suit from episode 17 and offering Akko a date on her broom. Not sure if I'll ever write it, since I'm such a Sukko fan, but I want to hear your thoughts on it. Maybe I can re-purpose it for another pairing. God knows I need to find someone to ship with Lotte, but the show just makes Akko so shippable with everyone.


	3. Akko finds out her friends are pervs

A/N: Okay, this is probably the last chapter of my crackfic. I may explore some more at a later time, but I think I've done everything I can with this concept. Let it be known that this chapter is why you don't let me write anything past midnight, I think I'm hilarious during the witching hour.

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One late afternoon in the academy of Luna Nova, Atsuko Kagari, otherwise known as Akko, was sitting in Professor Ursula's office, discussing some crap about the shiny rod or something. Akko had been having trouble finding the Word of the week, and being an impatient dunderhead was once again pestering her absurdly hot professor about it. Not that Ursula minded. She had the patients of a saint.

"Now, Akko, I'm sure that you'll find out the meaning behind the word if you just give it some time." The purple haired witch said "I'm sure you, your friends and your girlfriend can all figure it out through the power of friendship or love or some other bul-"

"Wait, what was that?" Akko asked. "did you say girlfriend, professor? I don't have a girlfriend!"

Ursula put a finger to her lips, looking a bit confused. "Are you sure? I mean, I'm sorry I assumed, but with all those girls following you everywhere..."

Akko huffed, "I'm sure! I mean, they're all my friends, why wouldn't they follow me around?"

Ursula seemed a bit flushed, "Well, I just tend to overhear some stuff, and see thing. Like, well, haven't you noticed that Ms. O'Neil makes several lewd comments towards you involving broom and speed puns a day? Or that Ms. Braunschbank-Albrechtsburger seems to try and find any and all opportunities to look up your skirt? I might be wrong about Constanze, she is very short, so it may not be intentional..."

The clueless teenager crossed her arms, "That's just the way Amanda is! And shame on you, Constanze has been nothing but sweet, she can't help being so adorably small!"

Ursula nervously tapped her fingers together, "Okay, yes, but what about Lotte and Sucy? Didn't Sucy try slipping you a love potion last week? And I'm not sure about a few days after that, but Lotte came into class with a nosebleed so horrible I thought she'd broken it."

Akko was looking a bit more unsure now, "That was just Sucy pulling another prank on me. And-and Lotte gets like that every time she walks in on me changing. She says it's because she's sensitive to high altitudes, combined with an allergy to panty shots."

"And I found Ms. England and Ms. Parker bickering over who got to steal your gym socks," Ursula had gained a bit of her confidence back as Akko lost hers. "And Ms. Cavendish practically stalks you! And that Jasminka girl... well, I'm actually not sure if she's got a thing for you, she's a weird one-"

At this point, Akko was phasing Ursula's further listing of members of her class who crushed on her out as it hit her just how oblivious she'd been. All the groping her friends had squeezed in, all the times she'd felt eyes on her only to be brushed off. The time Sucy had shared a shower while saying she was just being conscious of all the water wasted by single showers, Constanze dropping pencils and other small items and having Akko pick them up, Diana just being Diana. Amanda hadn't been mouthing spells the other day at all, she'd been mouthing dirty, dirty sex acts! All her friends were perverts!

Finally, Akko came to her senses, and shushed her teacher. "okay, okay, I get it! I'm a dumb! I'm a dumb who didn't notice all my friends are lusting after me! But my point still stands, I'm not dating any of them! And honestly, I'm not sure how I can look them all in the eye after this..."

The former red head(who really needed to do another purple dye job, her roots were showing) perked up a little. A sudden glint of light bounced off her glasses, giving her a very creepy vibe. For while Ursula had the patients of a saint, she also had the loins of a pedophile.

"So, uh, does this mean you're single then?"

* * *

A/N: And that's a wrap. Been fun writing these. I'm actually going to post this up with only minor editing, limited mostly to spelling errors, since I want to preserve the feel that this was written by a sleep deprived author struggling to stay awake before his ideas could leave him like his cold hearted ex... not that that describes me, or anything.


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